商務(wù)英語之自我介紹練習(xí)與講解Self-introduction
原：
I am Peter and I am male, and I was born 1979. I graduated in Nanjing. And I am/my major is International Trading. As to my favorites, I love the sports for football game and basketball. When I am university, I hope to have a healthy body. But for long time, I didn’t play these games.
As to my career schedule, now I am a SOHO, however, I hope to expand my business, for example, I want to attend the fair in Canton, if possible, I hope to attend the fare in Frankford. About my products range of business, there are Christmas Lighting and Steel and Toys, plush toys and so on. Ok, thank you. 修改：
My name is Peter, male. And I was born in 1979. I graduated from a university in Nanjing. My major was International Trading. As to my hobbies, I love sports. Like football and basketball. I believed that exercise can keep me healthy. However, I didn’t keep it for a long time since a lot of reasons.
Regarding to my career，I tried several kinds of jobs after my graduation, and now I am a SOHO. Recently, I planned to expand my business. For this purpose, I hope I can attend the fare in Canton and in Frankford, if possible. My product range includes Christmas Lighting, Steel and Plush Toys and so on.
Thank you.
句句修改講解：
1. I am Peter and I am male, and I was born 1979.
My name is Peter, male. And I was born in 1979.be born in 出生于不都用I 開頭說話，會(huì)顯得更加自然。And的頻率降低。
2. I graduated in Nanjing.
I graduated from a university in Nanjing.graduated from 畢業(yè)于從南京畢業(yè)在外國(guó)人開來有點(diǎn)奇怪，作為graduate的賓語用學(xué)校比較好。
3. And I am/my major is International Trading.
My major was International Trading.降低and的頻率。過去的專業(yè)，用was過去式。
4. As to my favorites, I love the sports for football game and basketball. When I am university, I hope to have a healthy body. But for long time, I didn’t play these games.
As to my hobbies, I love sports. Like football and basketball. I believed that exercise can keep me healthy. However, I didn’t keep it for a long time since a lot of reasons.
Favorite有愛好的意思，但是更偏向于指偏愛或者是記事本。愛好通常用hobby。
I love the sports for foot ball game and basketball, 中式英語。句型混亂。
When I am university中am要換成was過去式，When I was in university.
整句When I am university, I hope to have a healthy body. 中式英語。聽著很奇怪。直接說我從前相信運(yùn)動(dòng)使人健康。下句同樣的問題。
5. As to my career schedule, now I am a SOHO, however, I hope to expand my business, for example, I want to attend the fair in Canton, if possible, I hope to attend the fare in Frankford.
Regarding to my career，I tried several kinds of jobs after my graduation, and now I am a SOHO. Recently, I planned to expand my business. For this purpose, I hope I can attend the fare in Canton and in Frankford, if possible.
關(guān)于的表達(dá)有很多，不要過于單一都用as to，要換換。職業(yè)生涯直接career。建議在現(xiàn)在工作之前加上之前的'工作經(jīng)歷一帶而過。使內(nèi)容更充實(shí)一點(diǎn)。However是表示轉(zhuǎn)折的，但是這個(gè)句子里不需要轉(zhuǎn)折。Recently最近。 Hope的用法注意不好直接hope to do。Hope后面加人稱或者that從句。可以是 最近我計(jì)劃擴(kuò)展事業(yè)。 注意expand的讀法。這里的p濁化為b的音。加上For this purpose作為前后銜接。Canton和Frankford展會(huì)合并主謂，更加簡(jiǎn)潔。
語調(diào)注意點(diǎn)：
1. 盡量少用口氣次：嗯。。。
2. 注意語音語調(diào)：一句話中重要信息要著重突出。
3. 注意時(shí)態(tài)。
4. 積累詞組，積累銜接詞。注意中式英語的改善。
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