適合小學(xué)生閱讀的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)故事
鉛筆
What do you do if one of Santa’s reindeer swallows your pencil?
Answer: use a pen.
若圣誕老人的馴鹿吃掉你的鉛筆該怎么辦?
答案：用原子筆
1000元的腦筋急轉(zhuǎn)彎
On Christmas Eve Santa Claus met an honest politician and a kind lawyer while riding up in an elevator of a very exclusive hotel.
Just before the doors opened the three of them noticed a 1000NT bill lying on the floor. Which one of them do you think picked it up?
圣誕節(jié)前夕，圣誕老人和一清廉的政治人物，以及一心地善良的律師在一家高級(jí)飯店一同等電梯，門(mén)還未開(kāi)前，三人同時(shí)看到地上有一張新臺(tái)幣1000元的'鈔票，猜猜誰(shuí)會(huì)將它撿起?
Answer: Santa of course! Why? Because everybody knows that the other two don’t exist!
答案：當(dāng)然是圣誕老人啦!為什么?因?yàn)榇蠹叶贾懒硗鈨烧卟⒉淮嬖凇?/p>
法官與小偷
It was the Christmas season and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner,
“What is your offense?”
“I did my Christmas shopping early this year,” cried the prisoner.
“There’s nothing wrong with that,” said the Judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?”
“Before the store opened,” answered the prisoner
圣誕佳節(jié)到來(lái)，法官心情愉悅的問(wèn)受刑人：
“你做了什么壞事啊?”
“我今年圣誕節(jié)購(gòu)物早了些。”犯人回答。
“那并不事件壞事”，法官說(shuō)：“到底多早之前啊?”
“商店開(kāi)門(mén)之前。”犯人答道。
The Three Stages of Man男性成長(zhǎng)三階段
He believes in Santa Claus.
He doesn’t believe in Santa Claus.
He is Santa Claus!
相信圣誕老人的存在。
不相信圣誕老人的存在。
自己是個(gè)圣誕老人!
Motivation 動(dòng)機(jī)
MY ENGLISH PROFESSOR once launched into a lecture on "motivation." "What pushes you ahead?" he asked. "What is it that makes you go to school each day? What driving force makes you strive to accomplish?" Turning suddenly to one young woman, he demanded: "What makes you get out of bed in the morning?" The student replied: "My mother."
我們英文課的教授有一次在課上講“動(dòng)機(jī)”。“是什么推動(dòng)你在人生的路上向前走?”他問(wèn)道，“是什么讓你每天上學(xué)來(lái)?又是什么驅(qū)使你追求成功?”沖著一個(gè)女學(xué)生，他問(wèn)：“是什么讓你早晨從床上爬起來(lái)的呢?”學(xué)生答道：“我媽媽。”
Mental deficiency 智力缺陷
"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Bob asked ..."how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track." " Well, What sort of question?" "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?' Bob thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."
“醫(yī)生，你能不能告訴我，”鮑勃問(wèn)，“對(duì)于一個(gè)看上去很正常的人，你是怎樣判斷出他有智力缺陷的呢?”“再?zèng)]有比這容易的了，”醫(yī)生回答，“問(wèn)他一個(gè)簡(jiǎn)單的問(wèn)題，簡(jiǎn)單到所有人都知道答案，如果他回答得不干脆，那你就知道是怎么回事了。”“那要問(wèn)什么樣的問(wèn)題呢?”“嗯，你可以這樣問(wèn)，‘庫(kù)克船長(zhǎng)環(huán)球旅行了三次，但是在其中一次的途中他去世了，是哪一次呢?’”鮑勃想了一會(huì)兒，緊張的回答道，“你就不能問(wèn)另外一個(gè)問(wèn)題嗎?坦率地說(shuō)，我對(duì)歷史了解的不是很多。”
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