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蹩腳英語笑話
世界各地的蹩腳英語笑話，保證你會笑不停。
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流著血回到家里。他媽媽問，“發生了什么事?”
“一個男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡說。
“再見到他你能認出來嗎?”媽媽問。
“他走到哪里我都能認出他，”伊凡說。“他的耳朵還在我衣兜里呢。”
錢不用找了
Selling secondhand books at our church bazaar, I got into an argument with a prospective customer. He was interested in buying The Pocket Book of Ogden Nash but claimed it was overpriced at 35 cents. Other paperbacks were selling for ten or 15 cents each.
在教堂的義賣市上賣舊書時，我與一名準備買東西的顧客發生了一場爭論。他對購買袖珍奧金.納什集頗感興趣，但是說它要三十五美分開價過高。其它的平裝書每本才賣十或十五美分。
I pointed out that the book was in good condition. Nash was a fun poet, and it was for a good cause. He said it was a matter of principle. Ultimately, I agreed to sell him the book for 15 cents. Triumphant, he paid with a $10 bill. "Keep the change," he said.
我指出這本書保存狀況頗好，納什是個有趣的詩人，這個要價是合理的。他說這是個原則問題。最終，我同意以十五美分的價格將這本書賣給他。他得意洋洋，拿出一張十美元的票子付帳。“零錢不用找了。”他說。
咒語
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
一個男人找到一個巫婆，要求她解開一條困擾了自己40年的咒語。
The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."
巫婆說："或許我可以做的到，但你必須一字不落地告訴我下咒的時候說的那句咒語。"
The old man says without hesitation - "I now pronounce you man and wife."
男人毫不猶豫的答道：“‘我現在宣布你們成為夫婦。’”
世界各地的蹩腳英語
①If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself。
日本旅館：如果您想調節您房間的溫度，請控制您自己。
�、赑lease don't feed the animals. If you have any food, please give it to the guard on duty。
匈牙利動物園：請不要給動物喂食。如果您有食品，請喂給值班警衛。
�、跮adies are requested not to have children in the bar。
挪威酒吧：女士們不要在酒吧里生孩子。
�、蹻ur coats made for ladies from their skins。
瑞典皮貨商店：為女士們制作的皮大衣，是用她們的皮制成的。
�、軹eeth extracted by the latest Methodists 。
香港牙科診所：由最新的衛理公會教徒給您拔牙。
�、轉rop your trousers here for best results。
泰國的干洗店：在這里脫掉您的褲子，等待最好的結果。
�、逽pecialist in women and other diseases。
意大利婦科診所：我們是women和其他疾病的專家。
�、郬elcome to the cemetery where famous Russian artists are buried daily except Thursday。
俄國公墓：歡迎訪問這個公墓，許多著名的俄國藝術家每天埋在這里，但星期四不埋。
�、醀e take your bags and send them in all directions。
丹麥機場：我們將拿走您的行李，送往四面八方。
�、釺he manager has personally passed all water served here。
墨西哥旅館：旅館經理將親自為您撒尿。
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