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歡樂英語笑話大全
下面yjbys小編收集的“A Thank-you Note”英語笑話送給你，希望能帶給你歡樂。
A Thank-you Note
Once I received a thank-you note from a friend whom I had helped. In the envelope were five lottery tickets that had been scratched, revealing the numbers. "Thank you very much for your help," the note read. "As a gift, I bought you some lottery tickets- sorry you didn't win. "
有一次，我收到一封感謝信，是一個我曾幫助過的朋友寄來的。信封內(nèi)有五張彩票，都被刮過了，露出了數(shù)字。“非常感謝您的幫助，”信上寫道，“作為禮物，我給您買了些彩票----真遺憾，您沒中獎。”
Excellent Skills
After friends of mine landed at busy Newwark Airport, they were unable to attract the attention of any porters to help with their luggage. In desperation, the husband took out a five-dollar bill and waved it above the crowd.
In an instant, a skycap was at his side. "Sir," observed the porter, " you certainly have excellent communication skills.
我的朋友們在繁忙的紐瓦克機場著陸后，他們卻不能招呼到腳夫來幫他們搬行李。無奈，丈夫拿出一張五美元的鈔票在人群上面搖晃。
一個帶寬邊帽的人馬上來到他身邊。“先生，”腳夫說道，“很明顯你有絕妙的交際技巧。”
可憐的人
"Oh, my poor man," exclaimed the kind old lady， "It must be dreadful to be lame. But it would be much worse if you were blind."
"You're absolutely right," said the beggar, obviously an old hand at the game." When I was blind, people kept giving me foreign coins."
"啊，可憐的人，"善良的老婦人驚嘆道。"腳瘸就夠慘的了，要是眼瞎就更糟了。"
"你說的一點兒沒錯，"那乞丐說。他顯然是乞討老手。"我眼瞎的時候，人們老是給我外幣。"
終身保修
After burying his mother nine months earlier, a client of the local mortuary finally had enough money to purchase the expensive coffin he'd originally wanted. So we exhumed the body and transferred his deceased mother into the new steel casket. "What's so special about this coffin?" I asked the funeral director. He replied, "It has a lifetime warranty."
在將母親下葬9個月后，當?shù)貧泝x館的一個客戶終于攢夠了錢去買那副他早就相中的價值不菲的棺材了。他把母親的棺材挖了出來，將尸體轉(zhuǎn)移到了那副新的鋼制棺材中。“這副棺材有什么特別?”，我問葬禮的承辦人。他回答說，“這種棺材終生保修。
CD唱機
While shopping for my first CD player, I was able to decipher most of the technicalese on the promotional signs. One designation had me puzzled, though, so I called over a salesperson and asked, What does 'hybrid pulse D/A converter' mean?That means, she said, that this machine will read the digital information that is encoded on CDs and convert it into an audio signal - that is, into music.In other words this CD player plays CDs.Exactly.
在購買我的第一部CD唱機時，我能夠解讀推銷標記上面的大多數(shù)技術(shù)語言。但是有一個標示卻讓我頗為迷惑，于是我叫過銷售商，問道：‘混合脈沖D/A變換器’是什么意思?它的意思是，她說，這個機器能夠讀CD碟上加碼的數(shù)字信息，將它轉(zhuǎn)換成聲音信息-也就是說，轉(zhuǎn)換成音樂。換句話說，這個CD唱機能夠播放CD碟。正是如此。
他們?nèi)佳退懒?/strong>
The great painter was asked, one day to paint a picture of Pharaoh crossing the Red Sea. A little while after the picture had been commenced, a hitch(故障) arose over the fee, and Hogarth found that he would have to complete the commission for about half the sum he expected. When the work was completed, the patron(贊助人，主顧) was asked to come and inspect it. As a matter of fact, the picture was just one daub(涂抹，涂料) of brilliant red.What's this? exclaimed the purchaser. I asked for the Red Sea, on the occasion of the celebrated passage.That's it, replied Hogarth.But, where are the Israelites?They are all gone over.Where are the Egyptians?They're all drowned.
一天，有人請這位偉大的畫家畫一幅法老王渡紅海圖。這幅畫剛開始不久，酬金就出現(xiàn)了問題。霍迪斯發(fā)現(xiàn)，完成這幅畫后，他只能得到他想要的大約一半的錢。當作品完成之后，那位主顧被請來看畫。其實，這幅畫不過是胡亂涂抹的一片鮮紅。這是什么?那位買主喊了起來。我要的是紅海，是那次著名的航海。這就是，霍迦斯回答說。可是以色列人在哪兒?他們都已經(jīng)渡過去了。埃及人在哪兒?他們?nèi)佳退懒恕?/p>
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