失去的收獲—關于顧城棄世的一種現時思考
摘 要
1993年的10月8日，新西蘭的激流島，那個用利斧和繩索編織的“童話”，最后詮釋了顧城堅守的“自我”：從最初的自然的“我”，到“文化的我”，然后是“反文化的我”，再到“無我”，詩人1直尋求著。雖然詩人自己也認識到這是1個走不出來的怪圈，但是他在藝術上依然對抗著生活中所逃避的外部世界。如果逃避也是1種抗爭，顧城算得上1個10足的戰士。戰士用詩歌記錄下自己的想象和夢幻，要去還原自然，建造那個詩和童話的花園，而且不得不用“語言”這種社會性的工具去完成自然和理想的重鑄，這本身就是1個悖論。如同詩人的“自我”與外在世界之間的隔膜、封閉導致其自我分裂，懼怕外在世界的吞沒而選擇了自由的并不“悲傷”的“永逝”。本文中，筆者試圖通過尋找詩人棄世的內在合理性去發現這1行為的生命意義和文學意義。
關鍵詞：顧城；“自我” ；危機；儀式
ABSTRACT
October 8 of 1993, Turbulent current island of New Zealand, that “fairy tale” maken with sharp axe and rope, annotated “myself” Gu Cheng persevered finally. From initial “I am natural” then to “I am cultural” to “I am counterculture”and then to “losing myself”, the poet has been seeking all the time. Though poet realizes this is a strange circle not coming out, but he still opposes the external world escaped in life in art. It is a kind of fight if escape, Gu Cheng is regarded as a sheer soldier. The soldier who notes his own imagination and illusion with the poem, will reduce naturally, build the gardens of that poem and fairy tale. And have to finish natural and ideal casting again with such social tool of “language”, that is a paradox itself. Cause it to split with the lack of mutual understanding among world outside and closly oneself like the poet’s “myself”, he who feared external world had swallowed up and chosen “die forever” not the sadness about freedom. In the this text, I will attempt to look for inherent rationality that poet pass away go, find the life meaning and literature meaning of this behavior.
Key words: Gu Cheng; “myself”; crisis; ceremony
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