關(guān)于超爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話（精選11篇）
冷笑話是近幾年才出現(xiàn)的新興語(yǔ)言現(xiàn)象，它以網(wǎng)絡(luò)為主要的傳播方式。它是幽默的一種特殊的表現(xiàn)形式，主要流傳于網(wǎng)頁(yè)，微博，貼吧等。下面是小編帶來(lái)的超爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話，歡迎閱讀!
超爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話 篇1
When we work evenings .we often order take-out food at the office.One night we all gave our orders to Sharon, who wrote the selections on a self-stick note. Unable to find our list when she arrived at the fastfood restaurant, Sharon stepped up to the counter. But before she could speak, the cashier recited the exact order. " How could you possibly know that?"asked Sharon.
在我晚上上夜班的辦公室，大家常常訂些外賣食品來(lái)吃。一天夜里，我們都找沙倫訂了食品。她把訂單列在一張不干膠的紙條上。等她到了飯店時(shí)，怎么也找不到那張訂單了。沙倫走到柜臺(tái)前，還沒(méi)等她說(shuō)話，收銀員就背出了所有大家訂的東西。沙倫問(wèn):“你怎么會(huì)知道這些的呢?”
"Tt's right there," replied the cashier,"stuck to your chest."
“它就在這兒，”收銀頁(yè)說(shuō):“貼在了你的胸前�！�
超爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話 篇2
When we decided to sell our house, we nailed "FOR SALE BY OWNER" signs on two trees in our front yard. Before long，the doorbell rang.”How much are you asking for the treesp"a young man asked.
我們決定賣掉我們的房子。于是，我們就在院前的大樹(shù)上釘了兩塊牌子，上面寫著:“拍賣。”沒(méi)過(guò)多久，我們的門鈴就響了。一位年輕人問(wèn):“你們的樹(shù)想賣多少錢?”
超爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話 篇3
Some friends and I stopped at an ice-cream parlor.where I asked for my favorite，a hot-fudge sundae with chocolate ice cream. But when the waitress brought our orders，I saw that mine had vanilla ice cream. " I ordered chocolate,"I pointed out.
我和一位朋友來(lái)到一家冰淇琳店。我要了一個(gè)我最喜歡吃的巧克力奶油圣代。當(dāng)女招待送來(lái)我的冰淇淋時(shí)，我發(fā)現(xiàn)我的冰淇沐是香草的。我說(shuō):“我要的是巧克力的�！�
The young woman consulted her order pad and responded，"So you did. I'll take it back and get chocolate."
那位年輕的女士查了一下訂單回答說(shuō):“你確實(shí)要的是巧克力的。我把它拿回去，再給你拿一個(gè)巧克力的。”
“Never mind，”I said.”I don't like to see anything wasted."
“沒(méi)關(guān)系，”我說(shuō):“我不想浪費(fèi)東西�！�
"Nothing is wasted around here!"she insisted.“We eat our mistakes. "
“這兒什么也浪費(fèi)不了，”女招待堅(jiān)持說(shuō):“我們吃掉自己的錯(cuò)誤�！�
超爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話 篇4
Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee.
三只烏龜決定去喝咖啡。
Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.
它們剛到咖啡店的門口，就下起雨來(lái)。
The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the umbrella."
于是最大的那只烏龜對(duì)最小的烏龜說(shuō)，“你回家去取傘吧�！�
The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my offee."
最小的烏龜說(shuō)，“如果你們不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去�！�
"We won't," the other two promised.
“我們不喝，”另外兩只烏龜答應(yīng)說(shuō)。
Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee."
兩年后，大烏龜對(duì)中烏龜說(shuō)，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回來(lái)了，我們可以把它的咖啡喝掉了�！�
Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go."
正在這時(shí)，一個(gè)聲音從門外傳來(lái)，“你們要是喝了，我就不去�！�
超爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話 篇5
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"
一個(gè)聲名狼藉的小氣鬼終于決定要請(qǐng)一次客了。他在向一個(gè)朋友解釋怎么找到他家時(shí)說(shuō)：“你上到五樓，用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開(kāi)了后，再用你的腳把門推開(kāi)。”
“為什么我要用我的肘和腳呢?”
“天哪!” 吝嗇鬼回答，“你總不會(huì)空著手來(lái)吧?”
超爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話 篇6
Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".
超爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話 篇7
During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.
One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.
Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.
Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys."
"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.
"Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister."
"I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"
在第二次世界大戰(zhàn)中，有許多年輕的婦女在軍營(yíng)中服役。瓊.飛利浦斯是其中之一。她在一個(gè)大軍營(yíng)中工作，當(dāng)然遇到了許多男士，包括軍官和士兵。
一天晚上她在舞會(huì)上遇到了軍官漢弗雷斯。他對(duì)她說(shuō)，“我明天就要出國(guó)，但如果我們能夠相互寫信，我會(huì)很高興�！杯偼饬耍谑撬麄儙讉�(gè)月里一直通著信。
后來(lái)，他再?zèng)]有來(lái)信。她收到了另一個(gè)軍官的信，告訴她，他受傷了，住在英格蘭的某個(gè)部隊(duì)醫(yī)院里。
瓊到了醫(yī)院，她對(duì)護(hù)士長(zhǎng)說(shuō)，“我來(lái)看望軍官漢弗雷斯。”
“這里只有親屬可以探望病人�！弊o(hù)士長(zhǎng)說(shuō)。
“噢，是的，”瓊說(shuō)，“我是他的妹妹�！�
“很高興認(rèn)識(shí)你，”護(hù)士長(zhǎng)說(shuō)，“我是他的母親�！�
超爆笑的'英語(yǔ)笑話 篇8
Two soldiers were in camp. The first one‘s name was George, and the second one‘s name was Bill. George said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?"
Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him.
Then George said, "Now I haven‘t got a pen." Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one.
Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, "Are you going out?"
Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door.
George said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped.
"What do you want now?" Bill said to him.
George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?"
軍營(yíng)里有二名士兵，一個(gè)叫喬治，一個(gè)叫比爾。喬治問(wèn)：“比爾，你有信紙、信封嗎?”
比爾說(shuō)：“有。”然后把信紙和信封給了喬治。
喬治又說(shuō)：“我還沒(méi)有筆呢。”比爾又把自己的筆給了他。喬治開(kāi)始寫信。寫完后把信放進(jìn)信封里，又問(wèn)：“比爾，你有郵票嗎?”比爾給了他一張。
這時(shí)比爾站起來(lái)，向門口走去。喬治問(wèn)：“你要出去嗎?”
比爾說(shuō)：“是的�！彪S即打開(kāi)了門。
喬治說(shuō)：“請(qǐng)幫我把這封信投進(jìn)辦公室的信箱里，還有...”他停住了。
“你還要什么?”比爾問(wèn)。
喬治看著信封說(shuō)：“你女朋友的地址是-?”
超爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話 篇9
The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.
But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s papers, he was surprised.
"How old are you?" he said.
"Eighteen, sir," said John.
"But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?"
"Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."
第二次世界大戰(zhàn)開(kāi)始了，約翰想?yún)④�，可他只有十六歲，當(dāng)時(shí)規(guī)定男孩到十八歲才能入伍。所以軍醫(yī)給他進(jìn)行體檢時(shí)，他說(shuō)他已經(jīng)十八歲了。
可約翰的哥哥剛?cè)胛闆](méi)幾天，而且也是這個(gè)軍醫(yī)給他做的檢查。這位醫(yī)生還記得他哥哥的姓。所以當(dāng)他看到約翰的表格時(shí)，感到非常驚奇。
“你多大了?”軍醫(yī)問(wèn)。
“十八，長(zhǎng)官。”約翰說(shuō)。
“可你的哥哥也是十八歲，你們是雙胞胎嗎?”
約翰臉紅了，說(shuō)：“哦，不是，長(zhǎng)官，我哥哥比我大五個(gè)月�！�
超爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話 篇10
My father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."
One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point."
父親、哥哥和我到西點(diǎn)軍校去觀看一場(chǎng)陸軍與波士頓大學(xué)之間的橄欖球賽。開(kāi)始之前，我們到處轉(zhuǎn)了轉(zhuǎn)，碰到許多穿著整齊制服的學(xué)員。幾名游客問(wèn)新兵是否愿意擺出軍姿來(lái)讓他們攝�！昂米屛覀兊膬鹤又�，如果他到西點(diǎn)軍校來(lái)學(xué)習(xí)會(huì)得到什么。”
一對(duì)中年夫婦走近一名非常漂亮的女學(xué)員，問(wèn)她是否愿意擺個(gè)姿勢(shì)照相。他們解釋說(shuō)：“我們想讓兒子知道他沒(méi)來(lái)西點(diǎn)軍校錯(cuò)過(guò)了什么�！�
超爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話 篇11
At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Shall I engrave her name on it?" the jeweler asked.
The customer thought for a moment, and then said, "No-engrave it ‘To my one and only love‘. That way, if we ever break up, I can use it again."
在一家珠寶店里，一位年輕人買了一個(gè)貴重的小金盒作為送給女友的禮物�！耙野阉拿挚淘谏厦鎲�?”珠寶商問(wèn)道。
那名顧客想了一會(huì)兒，然后說(shuō)道：“不--在上面刻‘給我唯一的愛(ài)’。這樣，如果我們鬧崩了，我還可以再用到它�！�
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