簡短英語笑話帶翻譯的
Where's the father? 父親在哪?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。
“看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀!”
“是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢?”
哥哥想了一會(huì)兒，然后解釋道：“很明顯，他當(dāng)時(shí)正在畫這些畫唄。”
它們是從美國直接帶來的
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
一位中國老婦人在美國看望女兒回來不久，到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元。在銀行柜臺(tái)，銀行職員認(rèn)真檢查了每一張鈔票，看是否有假。
這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩，最后實(shí)在忍耐不住說：“相信我，先生，也請你相信這些鈔票。這都是真正的.美元，它們是從美國直接帶來的。”
Napoleon Was III
.拿破侖病了
Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year，his history professor failed him in his examinations，and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However，his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.
"He’s a good boy，"said Jack’s father,"and if you let him pass this time，I’m sure he’II improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.”
"No，no，that’s quite impossible，"replied the professor immediately.“Do you know，last month I asked him when Napoleon had died，he didn't know”
"Please sir, give him another chance,"said Jack’s father. "You see I'm afraid we don’t take any newspaper in our house,so none of us even knows that Napoleon was ill,"
杰克在一所大學(xué)學(xué)歷史。第一學(xué)期結(jié)束時(shí)，歷史課教授沒讓他及格。學(xué)校讓他退學(xué)。然而，杰克的父親決定去見教授，強(qiáng)烈要求讓杰克繼續(xù)來年的學(xué)業(yè)。
“他是個(gè)好孩子，”杰克的父親說，“您要是讓他這次及格，我相信他明年會(huì)有很大進(jìn)步，學(xué)期結(jié)束時(shí)，他一定會(huì)考好的。”
“不，不，那不可能，”教授馬上回答，“你知道嗎?上個(gè)月我問他拿破侖什么時(shí)候死的，他都不知道。”
“先生，請?jiān)俳o他一次機(jī)會(huì)吧。”杰克的父親說，“你不知道，恐怕是因?yàn)槲覀兗覜]有訂報(bào)紙。我們家的人連拿破侖病了都不知道。”
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