英語的幽默笑話

時(shí)間：2024-09-13 14:35:48 英語笑話我要投稿

英語的幽默笑話

　　DID YOUR DAD HELP YOU?

英語的幽默笑話

　　One day, Tim's mathematics teacher looked at his homework and

　　saw that he had got all his sums right. The teacher was very

　　pleased-and rather surprised. He called Tim to his desk and

　　said to him, "You got all your homework right this time, Tim.

　　What happened? Did your father help you?"

　　"No, sir. He was too busy last night, so I had to do it all

　　myself," said Tim.

　　你爸爸幫你了嗎?

　　一天，蒂姆的數(shù)學(xué)老師看了他的作業(yè)，發(fā)現(xiàn)他全做對了。老師很高興

　　，同時(shí)也十分驚訝。他把蒂姆叫到桌前說："蒂姆，你這次的作業(yè)全都

　　做對了，怎么回事?你爸爸幫你做了嗎?"

　　"不，先生，我爸爸昨天很忙，我不得不全由自己做了。"

　　Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"

　　and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"

　　Pig or Witch 豬還是女巫

　　A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!" The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "WITCH(女巫)!!" They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road. If only men would listen.

　　譯文1：一個(gè)男人在一條陡峭狹窄的山路上駕車，一個(gè)女人相向駕車而來。他們相遇時(shí)，那個(gè)女的從窗中伸出頭來叫到：“豬!!”那個(gè)男的立即從窗中伸出頭來回敬道：“女巫!!”他們繼續(xù)前行。這個(gè)男的在下一個(gè)路口轉(zhuǎn)彎時(shí)，撞上了路中間的一頭豬。要是這個(gè)男的能聽懂那個(gè)女人的意思就好了。

　　Contented Married Life

　　A man was telling one of his friends the secret of his contented married life, "My wife makes all the small decisions," he explained, "and I make all the big ones, so we never interfere in each other's business and never get annoyed with each other. We have no complaints and no arguments."

　　"That sounds reasonable," answered his friend sympathetically. "And what sort of decisions does your wife make?"

　　"Well," answered the man, "she decides what jobs I apply for, what sort of house we live in, what furniture we have, where we go for our holidays, and things like that."

　　His friend was surprised. "Oh?" he said. "And what do you consider important decisions then?"

　　"Well," answered the man, "I decide who should be Prime Minister, whether we should increase our help to poor countries, what we should do about the atom bomb, and things like that."

　　令人滿意的婚姻生活

　　一個(gè)男人告訴他的朋友自己婚姻幸福美滿的秘密，“小事都由我妻子決定，”他解釋說：“而我只管大事，我們從不互相干涉，從不生對方的氣。我們從來沒有抱怨、沒有爭吵。”

　　“聽起來很有道理，”他的朋友深有同感，“有哪些事情由你妻子作決定呢?”

　　“嗯，”那個(gè)人回答說：“她決定我申請什么工作，我們住什么房子，買什么家具，去哪里度假這些事情。”

　　他的朋友很驚奇的問道：“哦?那么你決定哪些重要事情?”

　　“嗯，”他回答：“我決定誰來當(dāng)首相，我們是否要增加對貧困國家的援助，怎么處理原子彈等等這些問題。”

　　湯姆對著吉姆罵道:"我受不了你這個(gè)苯蛋了!"

　　吉姆說:"你媽媽能!"

　　附:bear 有兩重意思:"生"和"忍受"這個(gè)笑話正是根據(jù)這點(diǎn).

　　Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"

　　and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"

　　湯姆對著吉姆罵道:"我受不了你這個(gè)苯蛋了!"