詼諧英語笑話
借公牛一用
Once upon a time, there lived a rich man, but he didn't know any words.
One day, one of his friends wanted to borrow an ox from him, so he wrote a note and asked his servant to take it to this rich man.
After the servant gave the note to the rich man, he pretended to be reading it and after a while, he said, "OK, I know. Go and tell your master, I'll go myself shortly.
從前，有個人很富有，但他不識字。
一天，他的一位朋友想向他借一頭公牛，便寫了個條，讓仆人送到富人那里。 仆人把條子給了富人。富人便假裝看了一會兒，然后說道：“好啦，我知道了。回去告訴你的主人，我馬上自己過去。”
一切都正常
A young couple were becoming anxious about their four-year-old son, who had not yet talked. They took him to specialists, but the doctors found nothing wrong with him. Then one morning at breakfast the boy suddenly blurted, Mom, the toast is burned.
You talked! You talked! Shouted his mother. I'm so happy! But why has it taked this long?
Well, up till now, Said the boy, things have been okay.
一對年輕夫婦有個兒子，已經四歲了，還沒有開口說話，他們對此深感焦慮。他們帶他去找專家診治，但醫生們總覺得他沒有毛病。后來有一天早上吃早餐時，那孩子突然開口了：媽媽，面包烤焦了。
你說話了!你說話了!他母親叫了起來。我太高興了!但為什么花了這么長的時間呢?
哦，在這之前，那男孩說，一切都很正常。
不會犯兩次同樣的錯誤
Boy: Hi, didn't we go on dates before? Onec or twice?
Girl: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.
男孩：嗨，我們之前是不是約會過，是一次還是兩次，我忘記了。
女孩：應該只有一次吧，我從不犯兩次同樣的錯誤。
音樂家最重要的生理素質是什么
In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music, a teacher asked one of the boys, "What is the most important physiological quality of a musician?"
"To be deaf," replied the boy.
"Nonsense!" said the teacher angrily.
"Why, sir! Don't you know that the famous musician Beethoven was deaf?" the boy asked in reply disdainfully.
在一次音樂學院的入學考試中，老師問其中一個男孩："音樂家最重要的生理素質是什么?"
"耳聾，"男孩答道。
"胡說!"老師氣憤地說。
"怎么了，先生!難道您不知道大名鼎鼎的音樂家貝多芬是個聾子嗎?"男孩輕蔑地反問道。
醉酒 Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處于那種對什么事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發問道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒只有一個警察呀!”
a neuropathy
Have a neuropathy, I do not know where to get a handful of pistols, he is gone in a little black alley. When suddenly a young man, neuropathy apart from anything else its guns on the ground by pointing to his head. Asked one plus a few zero. Terrified young people, thought for a long time. Answer, equals two. Neuropathy of the killing he did not hesitate. And then get pulled in his arms, said a cold, you know too much ...
有一個神經病，不知道從哪里弄來了一把手槍，他走在一條小黑胡同里。突然遇上一個年輕人，神經病二話不說將其按在地上用槍指著他的頭。問道，一加一得幾。年輕人嚇壞了，沉思了很久。回答，等于二。神經病毫不猶豫的打死了他。然后把搶拽在懷里，冰冷的說了一句，你知道的太多了…
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