歡樂精彩英語笑話

時間：2020-09-14 18:11:01 英語笑話我要投稿

歡樂精彩英語笑話大全

　　導語：經常講一些笑話，不僅能給自己帶來快樂，還能感染他人，這里小編收集整理了歡樂精彩英語笑話大全，一起來看看吧!

歡樂精彩英語笑話大全

　　1 The Cemetery Shortcut

　　為抄近路走墓地

　　Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs.

　　萬圣節派對過后，兩男人圖個樂呵，打算抄近路穿過墓地回家。

　　Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.

　　走到墓地中央時，他們被從迷霧中傳來的“答、答、答”聲驚嚇到了。

　　Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.

　　正當兩人害怕得渾身顫抖時，他們看到是個老頭拿著鐵錘和鑿子，在一塊墓石上鑿著什么。

　　"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death -- we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?"

　　“哇塞，先生，”其中一人喘了口氣說，“你把我們嚇得半死啊，我們還以為遇上鬼了呢!那么晚了你在這里做什么?”

　　"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"

　　“那幫白癡!”老頭抱怨道，“他們把我名字拼錯啦!”

　　2 Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam.""Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied."Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.

　　在期末考試之前，湯姆告訴他的母親：“媽媽，我昨天晚上做了一個夢，夢見我通過了今天的考試。”“不要相信夢，親愛的。據說夢中的經歷通常與現實相反。”媽媽答道。“那么，我真希望在今晚的夢中，我的其他功課都不及格。”湯姆說。

　　3 A Good Boy

　　Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.

　　"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

　　"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

　　"You’re a good boy," said the mother proudly.

　　"Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

　　"She is the one who sells the candy."

　　好孩子

　　小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。

　　”昨天給你的錢干什么了?“

　　”我給了一個可憐的老太婆，“他回答說。

　　”你真是個好孩子，“媽媽驕傲地說。“再給你兩分錢。可你為什么對那位老太太那么感興趣呢?”

　　“她是個賣糖果的。”

　　4 A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. Now, children, said she, has anyone of you ever made someone else glad?Please, teacher, said a small boy, I've made someone glad yesterday.Well done. Who was that?My granny.Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grand mother glad.Please, teacher, I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her three hours. Then I said to her, ‘Granny, I'm going home,’ and she said, ‘Well, I'm glad’!

　　一個主日學校的老師正在對學生講使別人高興的.重要性。現在，孩子們，她說：你們當中有誰讓別人高興過?我，老師，一個小男孩說：昨天我就使別人高興過。做得好，是誰呢?我奶奶。好孩子，現在告訴我們，你是怎樣使你奶奶高興的。是這樣的，老師。我昨天去看她，在她那兒呆了三個小時。然后我跟她說：‘奶奶，我要回家了。’她說：‘啊，我很高興!’

　　5 The Looney Bin

　　Late one night at the insane asylum (瘋人院)one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!”Another one said, "How do you know?"

　　The first inmate said, "God told me!"

　　Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"

　　瘋人院

　　一天晚上，在瘋人院里，一個病人說：“我是拿破侖!”另一個說：“你怎么知道?”第一個人說：“上帝對我說的!”一會兒，一個聲音從另一個房間傳來：“我沒說!”

　　6 For the Dog

　　The family seated in a restaurant had finished their dinner when Father Called over the waiter.

　　"My son has left quite a lot of meat on his plate," explained Father, "Could you give me a bag so that I can take it home for the dog?"

　　"Gosh, Dad!" exclaimed the excited boy. "Have we got a dog then?"

　　喂狗

　　一家人在飯館里吃過晚飯，父親把服務生叫了過來。