爆笑簡單英語笑話

爆笑簡單英語笑話

　　你知道學些笑話的好處么?當第一次見面的時候，總是有不知道該說什么的尷尬，這時候你就需要一些笑話，來緩解一下氣氛呢，這里小編為你收集整理了爆笑簡單英語笑話，希望能對你有所幫助哈!

　　爆笑簡單英語笑話一：Doggie Funeral

　　This rich man died and left in his will that when his dog died he was to have a funeral and who ever did the funeral would get a million dollars.

　　When the dog died--the executor started asking various faiths of the cloth if they would do the funeral. All refused. Finally he asked this old country preacher if he would do the funeral. "Why Brother--I don't do dogs funerals!"

　　"OK" the executor replied, "But the one who does this funeral gets a fat one million dollars!". The preacher replied "Now wait a Minute --- you didn't tell me this dog was a Christian!"

　　爆笑簡單英語笑話二：

　　On a crowded bus, one man noticed that another man had his eyes closed.

　　在一輛擁擠的公交車上，一名男子注意到另一名男子閉上了眼睛。

　　"What's the matter? Are you sick?"

　　“怎么了?你不舒服?”

　　"No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see an old lady standing."

　　“不，我很好。只是我討厭看到有個老婦站在身旁。”

　　爆笑簡單英語笑話三：Special Pig

　　Farmer Jones got out of his car and while heading for his friend's door, noticed a pig with a wooden leg. His curiosity roused, he ask, "Fred, how'd that pig get him a wooden leg?"

　　"Well Michael, that's a mighty special pig! A while back a wild boar attacked me while I was walking in the woods. That pig there came a runnin', went after that boar and chased him away. Saved my life!"

　　"And the boar tore up his leg?" "No he was fine after that. But a bit later we had that fire. Started in the shed up against the barn. Well, that ole pig started squealin' like he was stuck, woke us up, and 'fore we got out here, the darn thing had herded the other animals out of the barn and saved 'em all!"

　　"So that's when he hurt his leg, huh, Fred?" "No, Michael. He was a might winded, though. When my tractor hit a rock and rolled down the hill into the pond I was knocked clean out. When I came to, that pig had dove into the pond and dragged me out 'fore I drownded. Sure did save my life."

　　"And that was when he hurt his leg?" "Oh no, he was fine. Cleaned him up, too."

　　"OK, Fred. So just tell me. How did he get the wooden leg?"

　　"Well", the farmer tells him, "A pig like that, you don't want to eat all at once."

　　爆笑簡單英語笑話四：All Right

　　Hurrying my 11-year old daughter to school, I made a right turn at a red light when it was prohibited. "Uh-oh," I said, realizing my mistake. "I just make an illegal turn."

　　"I guess it's all right." my daughter replied, "The police car behind us did the same thing."

　　沒關系

　　我趕著開車將11歲的女兒送到學校去，在紅燈處右拐了，而那是不允許的(譯注:在一些國家如英國,其交通規則是車輛左行的,與我國相反)。“啊噢，”意識到犯了錯誤，我說。“我剛才拐彎是違章的`。”

　　“我想那沒關系的，”女兒回答說：“我們后面的警車也同樣拐了彎。”

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