簡(jiǎn)短英文小笑話
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簡(jiǎn)短英文小笑話(一)
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
老師： 這兒有兩只鳥(niǎo)，一只是麻雀。誰(shuí)能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀嗎?
學(xué)生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老師：請(qǐng)說(shuō)說(shuō)看。
學(xué)生：燕子旁邊的`就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。
簡(jiǎn)短英文小笑話(二)
He hides in a corner trying to find where the voice came from. He spots a birdcage with a parrotin it! He goes over and asks "Was that your voice?". It said "YES". He then says "What's yourname?". It says "MOSES". The burglar says "What kind of person names his bird moses?" Theparrot replys "THE SAME PERSON THAT NAMES HIS Rottweiler "JESUS".
他躲到一個(gè)角落,想找出是誰(shuí)在說(shuō)話。結(jié)果看到一只鸚鵡,于是他問(wèn)鸚鵡:“是你在說(shuō)話嗎?”鸚鵡承認(rèn)了。 小賊說(shuō):“你叫什么名字?”“摩西”。小賊說(shuō):“什么人給鳥(niǎo)取這種名字?”鸚鵡回答:“就是那個(gè)給他的羅威那犬取名為‘耶穌’的那個(gè)人啊。”
簡(jiǎn)短英文小笑話(三)
A burglar(竊賊) breaks into a house. He sees a CDplayer that he wants so he takes it. Then he hears avoice "JESUS is watching you". He looks around withhis flashlight wandering "What The HELL Was That?".He spots some $ on a table and takes it. Once againhe hears a voice "JESUS is watching you".
摩西和耶穌(雙語(yǔ))
一個(gè)竊賊潛入一戶(hù)人家。他看到一個(gè)喜歡的CD機(jī),他趕緊拿了。就在這個(gè)時(shí)候他聽(tīng)到有人說(shuō):“耶穌正在看著你。”他照著手電看來(lái)看去,嘀咕著:“到底是什么人在說(shuō)話?”這時(shí),他看到桌子上有些錢(qián),他又拿了。那聲音又來(lái)了:“耶穌正在看著你。”
簡(jiǎn)短英文小笑話(四)
This story is told of a browbeating counsel，who habitually endeavored to terrorize his opponent‘s witnesses.
One witness rather tended to preface his replies with lengthy explanations.
“I want‘yes’or‘no，’”thundered counsel.“There is no need for you to argue the point!”
“But there are some questions which cannot be answered by‘yes’or‘no，’”mildly responded the witness.
“There are not!” snapped the lawyer.
“Oh，” said the witness，“answer this then：“Have you ceased beating your wife?”
這個(gè)故事講的是一個(gè)咄咄逼人的辯護(hù)律師，他慣于盡量去恐嚇對(duì)方的證人。
有一個(gè)證人有點(diǎn)傾向于在回答問(wèn)題之前做冗長(zhǎng)的解釋。
“我要你回答‘是’或者‘不是’，”辯護(hù)律師怒喝道： “你沒(méi)有必要就這個(gè)問(wèn)題進(jìn)行爭(zhēng)論。”
“可是有些問(wèn)題無(wú)法用‘是’或者‘不是’來(lái)回答。”這位證人溫和地回敬他。
“不存在這樣的問(wèn)題!”律師厲聲打斷他。
“噢，”證人說(shuō)：“那么請(qǐng)你回答這個(gè)問(wèn)題：“你停止打你老婆了嗎?”
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