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較長(zhǎng)的英語(yǔ)笑話
導(dǎo)語(yǔ)：其實(shí)學(xué)習(xí)英語(yǔ)也可以變得很有趣味的，關(guān)鍵在于怎樣學(xué)習(xí)。下面小編給大家收集整理了幾篇較長(zhǎng)的英語(yǔ)笑話，希望大家喜歡。
Peter joined the army when he was eighteen,and for several months he was taught how to be a good soldier.He did quite well in everything except shooting.One day he and his friends were practicing their shooting,and all of them were doing quite well except Peter.After he had shot at the target nine times and had not hit it once,the officer who was trying to teach the young soldiers to shoot said,"You're quite hopeless,Peter!Don't waste your last bullet too!Go behind that wall and shoot yourself with it!"
Peter felt ashamed.He went behind the wall,and a few seconds later the officer and the other young soldiers heard the sound of a shot.
"Heavens!" the officer said."Has that silly man really shot himself?"
He ran behind the wall anxiously,but Peter was all right."I'm sorry,sir," he said,"but I missed again."
彼得十八歲那年參了軍,他需要參加幾個(gè)月的學(xué)習(xí)以成為一名好士兵.彼得在其他方面都做得很好,但是射擊不行.一天他和伙伴們練習(xí)射擊,除了彼得其他人都沒(méi)有問(wèn)題.他射了九次,一次也沒(méi)有命中目標(biāo).這時(shí),教新兵射擊的教官說(shuō)：“彼得,你看來(lái)是沒(méi)希望了,不要連最后一發(fā)子彈都浪費(fèi)掉!去那堵墻后面用它向自己打一槍吧.”
彼得感到非常慚愧.他走到那堵墻后面.幾分鐘后,教官和新兵們聽(tīng)到一聲槍響.
“上帝!”教官叫起來(lái),“難道那個(gè)笨蛋真的朝自己開(kāi)槍了?”
他急忙跑到那堵墻后面,發(fā)現(xiàn)彼得安然無(wú)恙.“對(duì)不起,長(zhǎng)官,”他說(shuō),“我還是沒(méi)有命中.”
Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says
"Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!
四個(gè)好朋友在醫(yī)院里碰面了,他們的妻子正在生產(chǎn).護(hù)士過(guò)來(lái)對(duì)第一個(gè)男人說(shuō):"恭喜,你得了雙胞胎."男人說(shuō):"多奇怪呀,我是明尼蘇達(dá)雙子隊(duì)的經(jīng)理."過(guò)了一會(huì)兒,護(hù)士過(guò)來(lái)對(duì)第二個(gè)男人說(shuō):"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜歡:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,護(hù)士跑來(lái)對(duì)第三個(gè)男人說(shuō):"恭喜,你得了2對(duì)雙胞胎."男人很開(kāi)心地說(shuō):"真令人啼笑皆非,我為四季賓館工作."他們?nèi)齻�(gè)都很高興,但第四個(gè)伙伴急得像熱鍋上的螞蟻,咒罵上帝并用頭撞墻.他們問(wèn)他有什么不對(duì)勁,他回答道:"什么不對(duì)勁?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."
在中西部一個(gè)大城市的交通法庭里,一位年輕女士被帶到法官面前,她由于開(kāi)車(chē)闖紅燈被開(kāi)了罰單.女士向法官解釋,她是一名學(xué)校老師,請(qǐng)求法官馬上處理她的案子,以便可以趕回去上課.法官眼中閃過(guò)一絲狡黠,說(shuō)道：“你是學(xué)校的老師,對(duì)嗎?女士,我馬上要實(shí)現(xiàn)我畢生的愿望了.在那張桌子旁坐下,寫(xiě)‘我開(kāi)車(chē)闖了紅燈’500遍.”
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