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有關(guān)英語(yǔ)的笑話(huà)附翻譯
導(dǎo)語(yǔ)：開(kāi)心也是一天，不開(kāi)心也是一天，不如開(kāi)開(kāi)心心過(guò)好每一天吧！下面小編給大家收集整理了有關(guān)英語(yǔ)的笑話(huà)，希望大家喜歡，也希望大家每一天都開(kāi)開(kāi)心心！
1、 "A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goats' milk was used. She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing. These, she explained, were the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produced. She then asked, "What do you do with your older goats in America?" A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus tours!"
一群美國(guó)人乘長(zhǎng)途汽車(chē)在荷蘭旅游。他們?cè)谝粋�(gè)奶酪場(chǎng)停下來(lái)。一位年輕的導(dǎo)游帶他們參觀了奶酪制作的全過(guò)程，解釋說(shuō)用的是羊奶。 她指給這群人一個(gè)美麗的山坡，山坡上許多羊在吃草。對(duì)這些，她解釋說(shuō)，是放逐草地的老羊，它們已不能再產(chǎn)奶。她然后問(wèn)道：“在美國(guó)你們?cè)鯓犹幚砝涎蚰兀俊? 一位活潑的老紳士回答說(shuō)：“他們讓我們乘車(chē)旅行！”"
2、 Ask Your OwnIt was a cold，raw day at Washington．Champ Clark was discussing the gamins of the cities with an English visitor．The latter expatiated on the wit of the London type of the genius．Clark declared that if the Englishman were to ask any Washington street urchin any question，the urchin would make anaptreply．They sallied forth． “What time is it，Bub？They tell me you can tell time by your nose，”said the visitor to the first newsboy they met． “Ask your own，mister，mine ain't run nin’，”was the reply．
這是華盛頓的一個(gè)陰冷天。錢(qián)普·克拉克正和一個(gè)來(lái)訪(fǎng)的英國(guó)人討論城市的流浪兒，英國(guó)人詳細(xì)地?cái)⑹鲋鴤惗厥教觳诺臋C(jī)智。克拉克宣稱(chēng)，要是對(duì)方向華盛頓街上任何一個(gè)兒童提任何問(wèn)題，那孩子都會(huì)對(duì)答如流。他們便出發(fā)了。 “什么時(shí)候了，小兄弟？人們說(shuō)你能用鼻子報(bào)時(shí)。” 回答是：“先生，問(wèn)問(wèn)你自己的吧，的不在走呢。”
3、 "The school of agriculture's dean of admissions was interviewing a prospective student. "Why have you chosen this career?" he asked."I dream of making a million dollars in farming, like my father," the student replied."Your father made a million dollars in farming?" echoed the impressed dean."No," replied the applicant. "But he always dreamed of it.
農(nóng)校的招生辦主任在面試一個(gè)上線(xiàn)的學(xué)生，“你為何要選擇這個(gè)職業(yè)？”他問(wèn)。 “我夢(mèng)想以經(jīng)營(yíng)農(nóng)場(chǎng)來(lái)賺一百萬(wàn)元，就像我父親一樣。”這個(gè)學(xué)生回答說(shuō)。 “你父親經(jīng)營(yíng)農(nóng)場(chǎng)賺了一百萬(wàn)元？”主任驚詫地問(wèn)道。“沒(méi)有，”這位申請(qǐng)人回答道，“他總是夢(mèng)想著賺到這個(gè)數(shù)目。”
4、 "Uncle Frank, at 79, was a healthy and wealthy man, a lifelong bachelor. He courted a lot, he said, but "never boiled over-just simmered." On a whim, he decided to take a trip around the country to look up nearly a dozen old girlfriends. Upon his return he exclaimed, "Whew! Thank goodness I never married any of those women - They're all widows now!
弗蘭克叔叔七十八歲了，富有而健康。他是個(gè)終生單身漢。他曾追求過(guò)很多女孩，但“從不過(guò)熱----見(jiàn)好就收”。一天他突發(fā)奇想，決定四處走走，去看看他那些接近一打的舊時(shí)女友。他回來(lái)即嘆道：“噓！謝天謝地幸虧我沒(méi)娶那些女人中的任何一個(gè)。如今她們都成寡婦了！”
5、 "A boy cried to his mother, "All the children make fun of me. They say I have a big head." "Don't listen to them," his mother said, "You have a beautiful head. Now stop crying and go to the store to buy twenty pounds of patotoes.""Where is the shopping bag?" "I haven't got one-use your hat."
一個(gè)小男孩向他母親哭訴道：“他們都取笑我，說(shuō)我腦袋大。” “別聽(tīng)他們的，”他母親安慰道，“你有一個(gè)很漂亮的腦袋。好啦，別哭了，去商店買(mǎi)十斤土豆來(lái)。” “購(gòu)物袋在哪兒？” “沒(méi)購(gòu)物袋了----就用你的帽子吧。”
6、 "Hurrying my 11-year old daughter to school, I made a right turn at a red light when it was prohibited. Uh-oh, I said, realizing my mistake. I just make an illegal turn.I guess it's all right, my daughter replied, The police car behind us did the same thing.
我趕著開(kāi)車(chē)將11歲的女兒送到學(xué)校去，在紅燈處右拐了，而那是不允許的(譯注:在一些國(guó)家如英國(guó),其交通規(guī)則是車(chē)輛左行的,與我國(guó)相反)。啊噢，意識(shí)到犯了錯(cuò)誤，我說(shuō)。我剛才拐彎是違章的。我想那沒(méi)關(guān)系的，女兒回答說(shuō)：我們后面的警車(chē)也同樣拐了彎。"
7、 "A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.The driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much. "The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."
乘客輕拍了一下出租車(chē)司機(jī)的肩膀，想問(wèn)個(gè)問(wèn)題。司機(jī)大叫起來(lái)，車(chē)也失去了控制，幾乎撞上一輛公車(chē)，還上了便道，在還差幾厘米就撞上商店櫥窗時(shí)終于停了下來(lái)。司機(jī)說(shuō)：“伙計(jì)，別再這么干了。你把我嚇破膽了！”乘客抱歉地說(shuō)，“我沒(méi)想到拍你一下就嚇成這樣。” 司機(jī)說(shuō)：“對(duì)不起，也不全是你的錯(cuò)。今天是我第一天開(kāi)出租，以前25年里我一直開(kāi)殯葬車(chē)。”
8、 A burglar breaks into a house. He sees a CD player that he wants so he takes it. Then he hears a voice "JESUS is watching you". He looks around with his flashlight wandering "What The HELL Was That?". He spots some $ on a table and takes it......Once again he hears a voice " JESUS is watching you". He hides in a corner trying to find where the voice came from. He spots a birdcage with a parrot in it! He goes over and asks " Was that your voice?". It said "YES". He then says "What's your name?". It says "MOSES". The burglar says " What kind of person names his bird moses??" The parrot replys "THE SAME PERSON THAT NAMES HIS Rottweiler "JESUS".
一個(gè)竊賊潛入一戶(hù)人家。他看到一個(gè)喜歡的CD機(jī)，他趕緊拿了。就在這個(gè)時(shí)候他聽(tīng)到有人說(shuō)：“耶穌正在看著你。”他照著手電看來(lái)看去，嘀咕著：“到底是什么人在說(shuō)話(huà)？”這時(shí)，他看到桌子上有些錢(qián)，他又拿了。。。那聲音又來(lái)了：“耶穌正在看著 你。”他躲到一個(gè)角落，想找 出是誰(shuí)在說(shuō)話(huà)。結(jié)果看到一只鸚鵡，于是他問(wèn)鸚鵡：“是你在說(shuō)話(huà)嗎？”鸚 鵡承認(rèn)了。 小賊說(shuō)：“你叫什么名字？”“摩西”。小賊說(shuō)：“什么人給鳥(niǎo)取這種名字？”鸚鵡回答：“就是那個(gè)給他的羅威那犬取名為‘耶穌’的那個(gè)人啊。”
9、 "The girl found the go-between and said, "You cheated me ! One of his eyes is not true. Why didn't you tell me this before ?" "I have told you. " said the go-between with justice on his side, When you met first, I told you that he settled on you with one eye.
姑娘找到媒人，說(shuō)：“你欺騙了我。他的一只眼是假眼，你以前為什么不告訴我？” “怎么沒(méi)告訴你？”媒人也不甘示弱，“你們第一回見(jiàn)面后，我就說(shuō)，他一眼就看中你了。”
10、 "Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents'. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the younger one began praying at the top of his lungs. "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE... I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO... I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR..."His older brother nudged him and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf."To which the younger one replied, "No, but Grandma is!"
兩個(gè)小男孩在他們的祖父母家過(guò)夜。睡覺(jué)時(shí)間到了，這兩個(gè)小男孩跪在床上祈禱。弟弟用非常大的聲音祈禱著，“我祈求有一輛新自行車(chē)……我祈求有一個(gè)新游戲機(jī)……我祈求有一個(gè)新錄像機(jī)……”他的哥哥用胳膊肘輕輕地碰了他一下，說(shuō)：“你為什么這么大聲地喊叫呢？上帝又不是聾子。”弟弟聽(tīng)了回答道：“上帝是不聾，可奶奶聾呀！”
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