圣誕英文笑話

時間：2020-08-23 18:28:12 英語笑話我要投稿

圣誕英文笑話

　　1、Christmas Eve Service 平安夜禮拜

圣誕英文笑話

　　Just as I began my Christmas Eve service, the electricity in the church failed. The ushers and I found some candles and placed them around the sanctuary. Then I reentered the pulpit, shuffled my notes, and muttered, "Now, where was I?" A tired voice called out, "Right near the end!"

　　就在我開始平安夜禱告時，教堂停電了。教堂里的接待人員和我找到一些蠟燭，把它們放在禮堂周圍。然后我重返講道壇，整理了一下筆記后，我說：“剛才我講到哪兒了?”傳來一陣不耐煩的聲音：“馬上就講完了!”

　　2、 Into the Church

　　進教堂

　　Three buildings in town were overrun by squirrels—the town hall, the hardware store, and the church. The town hall brought in some cats. But after they tore up all the files, the mayor got rid of the predators, and soon the squirrels were back. The hardware store humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free outside town. But three days later, the squirrels climbed back in. Only the church came up with an effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and made them members. Now they see them only on Christmas and Easter.

　　鎮(zhèn)里有三座建筑物被松鼠占領(lǐng)了--市政廳、五金店和教堂。市政廳引進了一些貓。但這些“獵手”撕毀了文檔，于是它們也就被市長請出了市政廳。而很快，松鼠又回來了。五金店捕捉到松鼠后，施與憐憫將它們在鎮(zhèn)外釋放了。但三天后，松鼠爬回鎮(zhèn)里來了。只有教堂采取了一種有效的解決方案。松鼠得到洗禮成為了教眾。現(xiàn)在，人們只會在圣誕節(jié)和復(fù)活節(jié)時才能看到松鼠。

　　3、Good Lights

　　好燈

　　A customer walked into our store looking for Christmas lights. I showed her our top brand, but—wanting to make sure each bulb worked—she asked me to take them out of the box and plug them in. I did, and each one lit up. "Great," she said. I carefully placed the string of lights back in the box. But as I handed them to her, she looked alarmed. "I don’t want this box," she said abruptly. "It’s been opened."

　　一位顧客進我們的商店買圣誕燈。我給她看了我們店里最好的'牌子，但還需確認一下燈泡是否正常。她讓我把燈泡從盒子里拿出來，然后通上電。我照做了。每一個燈泡都是正常的。她說:“非常好。”我小心翼翼地把這串圣誕燈放回盒子里。可當(dāng)我把這一盒燈泡交給她時，她吃驚地看著我，突然說：“我不要這一盒，它打開過的。”

　　4、The thief and the judge

　　It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked。

　　"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant。

　　"That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"

　　"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner。

　　法官與小偷

　　那天是圣誕節(jié)，法官在審訊犯人時也有點惻隱之心。“你為什么而被起訴?”他問。

　　“采購圣誕節(jié)物品過早。”被告答。

　　“這不算犯法，”法官回答，“你購物多早?”

　　在商店開門之前，“犯人應(yīng)道。

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