英語搞笑短篇笑話
會講笑話的人都是有好人緣的人，所以我們要多親近一些笑話大王們。現在小編也來當笑話大王啦!小編給大家收集整理了英語搞笑短篇笑話，一起來笑笑，收集好人緣吧!
英語搞笑短篇笑話篇一：
一個吝嗇的家伙
Matt and his wife lived in the country. Matt was very stingy and hated spending money. One day a fair came to the nearby town.
"Let’s go to the fair, Matt," his wife said. "We haven’t been anywhere for a long time."
Matt thought about this for a while. He knew he would have to spend money at the fair. At last he said, "All right, but I’m not going to spend much money. We’ll look at things, but we won’t buy anything. "
They went to the fair and looked at all the things to buy. There were many things Matt’s wife wanted to buy, but he would not let her spend any money.
Then, in a nearby field, they saw a small airplane.
"Fun flights!" the notice said, " $ 10 for 10 minutes.
Matt had never been in an airplane and he wanted to go on a fun flight. However, he didn’t want to have to pay for his wife, as well.
"I’ve only got $ 10, " he told the pilot. "Can my wife come with me for free?" The pilot wasn’t selling many tickets, so he said, "I’ll make a bargain with you. If your wife doesn’t scream or shout, she can have a free flight."
Matt agreed, and got into the small airplane with his wife.
The pilot took off and made his airplane do all kinds of things. At one moment it was flying upside down.
When the plane landed, the pilot said, "0. K. your wife didn’t make a sound. She can have her ride free."
"Thank you," Matt said. "It wasn’t easy for her, you know, especially when she fell out."
Notes:
(1) stingy adj.吝嗇
(2) hate(doing)討厭(做)
(3) free adj.免費的
(4) make a bargain with sb 達成協(xié)議;做成交易
(5) upsidedown 倒轉地;倒置地
3、在空中
麥特和妻子住在鄉(xiāng)下。麥特很吝嗇，討厭花錢。一天附近的鎮(zhèn)子逢集。
“我們去趕集，麥特，”妻子說。“我們很久沒出去了。”
麥特想了一會兒。他知道在集市上一定得花錢。最后他說：“好吧，但我不打算花太多錢。我們只看不買。”
他們去集市，看看所有可買的東西。有很多東西麥特的.妻子想買，但麥特不讓她買。
然后在附近的露天場地，他們看到一架小飛機。
“有趣的飛行。”海報上寫著，“10分鐘10美元。”
麥特從來沒有乘過飛機，所以他想乘一次小飛機。然而他不想付他妻子的票錢。
“我只帶了10美元，”他對飛機駕駛員說，“我妻子能免費和我一起乘飛機嗎?”駕駛員沒賣出多少票，所以他說：“我和你做個交易。如果你妻子不尖叫，也不叫出聲來，她就能免費飛行。”
麥特同意了，他和妻子一起登上了飛機。
飛機起飛了，駕駛員讓飛機做出各種各樣的動作。有一會兒飛機倒著飛行。
飛機著陸時，駕駛員說，“好吧，你妻子沒發(fā)出任何聲響。她就不用買飛機票了。”
“謝謝，”麥特說，“你知道，這對她不容易，特別當她剛才掉下去的時候。”
英語搞笑短篇笑話篇二：
Day after Day
A teacher was always so involved in the text being studied that he never looked up . He would call on a student for translation and explanation, and-without realizing it-he often chose the same student day after day. Out of respect, the student wouldn't point this out to him.
After being called on four days in a row, a student named Goldberg asked advice from his friends. The next day when the teacher said "Goldberg, translate and explain," Goldberg replied, "Goldberg is absent today ."
"All right," said the teacher. "YOU translate and explain.
日復一日
一位老師對所講課文總是非常投入，從不抬頭。他常讓一個學生來翻譯和解釋，并且----不自覺地----他常日復一日地叫同一個學生。出于尊敬，學生并不給他指出這一點。
一個叫古德伯格的學生，在被一連叫了四天之后，向他的朋友尋求建議。第二天，這位教師又說：“古德伯格，翻譯并解釋。”古德伯格回答說：“古德伯格今天缺席。”
“那好吧，”教師說，“那就你來翻譯并解釋。”
英語搞笑短篇笑話篇三：
Mushroom and Toadstool
Younger Scout: How can I tell the difference between a mushroom and a toadstool(毒菌) ?Older Scout: Just eat one before you go to bed. If you wake up the next morning, it was a mushroom.
蘑菇與毒蕈
年少的童子軍：我怎樣才能把蘑菇和毒蕈區(qū)別開呢?年長的童子軍：上床前吃一個。如果你第二天早上醒來，那就是蘑菇。
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